You’ll be Sorry in the Morning: Top 5 Most Ridiculous Wedding Dress Trends

I’m all for making a statement with your fashion, and Lord KNOWS I’m even more for a bride having it her way on her day.

However – and this is a very big HOWEVER – let us not forget the whole reason behind the day in the first place.  The love of our men should never, and I repeat never, be drowned out by the love of our fashion.  Of course, I’m using the term fashion here very loosely, and if you’re wondering why… you needn’t look further than the first photo.

Please Don’t #1: Have your Cake Dress and Eat it Too??
I know time’s are tight, ladies.  Hello?!?!  I’ve done more budget crunching than Jillian Michaels has done belly crunching; so, believe me when I say I understand that you want to cut corners and “trim the fat” from your wedding expenses.  And while I fully support getting use out of multi-tasking details, I do not suggest you let one of those details be your dress.  I mean, honestly, who wants a dress that’s known for molding?

Designed by Ukrainian pastry chef, Valentyn Shtefano, this 20 pound wedding dress was created in two months from 1,500 cream puffs for his beautiful bride. And who said chivalry was dead? (photo courtesy of msnbc.msn.com)

Talk about a dress with movement!! Ohhh wait, I mean no movement! Designed by Lukka Sigurdardottir, this wedding dress treat doubles as dessert! (photo courtesy of lostateminor.com)

Please Don’t #2: Don’t Let it Blow Up in Your Face!
I can appreciate art.  In fact, I’m very fond it, but there is a certain level of practicality every bride needs to be aware of on her wedding day.  You can have a dress that is high fashion and over-the-top artsy, but having a helium filled, easily-popped-so-you-might-end-up-naked wedding dress definitely does not cover that level of practicality.  Not to mention, the sweat level for plastic-wear is outrageous.  Not flattering.

Barnum & Bailey got nothin' on these looks! These wedding gowns, made strictly from balloon animal's finest, will surely leave your guests open-jawed... and not in a good way. (photos courtesy of inventorspot.com and funkytrend.com)

Please Don’t #3: Too much Bride, not (nearly!) enough Dress
For the first time in my life, I was rendered speechless.  Literally, I have no words… just an embarrassed, red face… I don’t even know these brides!  Come on now, girls, we should all be proud of our bodies, but is your wedding day inside a church in front of your grandma and the good Lord really the place you want to show it off?  I think not.

Oh my. At least the one on the right has the figure for a bikini wedding dress... Siiiiighhhhh. (photos courtesy of hitched.co.uk and brides.com)

i.have.no.words. (photo courtesy of wedinator.com)

Please Don’t #4: Too much Dress, not (nearly!) enough Bride
Believe me.  I get the whole wanna-look-like-Cinderella, fairy tale princess bride complex.  My best friend and most favorite girl in the world, Breanna Marie, might as well have written the book on this theory.  I’m already prepared for when she gets hitched, because I know she’ll be the belle of the ball and have me in the pinkest, pretty-pretty princess bridesmaid’s dress money can buy.  Buuuuuuuuuut, there’s a big difference between being a princess and being a cream puff (not the pastry this time.)  So, ladies please, wear the dress… don’t let the dress wear you!

With a train like that, this is more than likely the only place they could do pictures... in a field... a very, VERY large field. (photo courtesy of diamondvues.com)

The only caption needed: Whyyyyyy? (photos courtesy of wedinator.com and tackyweddings.com)

Please Don’t #5:  Loud and Ornate… not up for Debate
Your wedding day is about you; so, please please please don’t lose yourself in over-the-top accessories.  Brides who decorate themselves too drastically don’t look trendy; they look, well, in a word, ridiculous.  And nobody wants to look back in 5 years – heck, even 5 days – down the road and go, “Ugh, what was I thinking?”

Sugar Kei Sweet's design (left) and Christian Lacroix may be brilliant in theory, but they are disastrous in depiction. (photos courtesy of weddinginspirasi.com and larkinandcatcher.com)

I'm sorry, Celine. Like you. Love your voice. HATE the headpiece. (photo courtesy of ivilliage.com)